The Blog of Zakspade

  May 2018 Archive Contact me
  Look at Me!
Friday 18 May, 2018

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The law surrounding vehicle number plates was tightened up a few years back. These days the thickness of the lines of the characters is proscribed, along with their width, being vertical, the spacing between them – just about every aspect that can be used to turn an otherwise mundane sequence of letters and numbers into something more memorable – to the owner, if no one else.

According to the law as it stands, you ought not be confronted with a ‘3’ positioned and presented to read as an ‘E’ nor a ‘4’ as an ‘H.’ However, the reality is that it still happens; not as frequently as it used to, but it is still out there.

One reason is that it is part of the MoT nowadays. Strictly speaking, your car or van might be mechanically one hundred percent, but if the number plates deviate from the strict rules, then a Fail has to be issued. That any such number plates are seen on the road is an indication of one of two things: either the plates were swapped over for the test and swapped back once the Pass was granted, or; the MoT tester or testing station were lax.

The fact is that plates are attached firmly to vehicles these days (lorry trailers aside) so as to make it impossible to remove them without breaking so that the miscreants in our society have greater difficulty in spoofing or masking their identities. That suggests that any vehicle displaying a non regulation format index is on the road after being granted an MoT by a garage that chooses to overlook certain items, or is incompetent. Such vehicles should be watched carefully because there is no telling what else the testing station didn’t note and anything could be wrong with the thing.

Perhaps a more legal way to scream, ‘Look at me!’ would be to change one’s name via Deed Poll. I’m going for ‘GX05AVV’ (pronounced, ‘Gary’).

  Guilty Pleasure
Monday 7 May, 2018

I watched a BMW car swing across the road and drive at a pedestrian on the footpath. Having caused the old dear to wisely move out of the way of the car, the driver leapt out and ran into the shop – leaving his vehicle on the pavement blocking two other cars correctly parked.

As I crossed the road to reach the same shop, I noticed that the rear offside tyre was nearly flat. I was nearly tempted to let the owner know about it but the sight of the old lady slowly walking up the footpath and looking back at the car, glaring, made me decide not to bother.

Inside, I cackled.

  Lucky, Lucky
Friday 4 May, 2018

Walking back home with my daughter, I turned to look ahead after saying something to her and was confronted by the sight of a van coming towards me on the pavement.

As you might imagine, I jumped.

Nothing to worry about – the driver had it under control – he was merely in the process of parking on the pavement, but were it not for the fact that I barged into my daughter, he would have hit me.

There would have been a few comments made to the man had she not been present. As it was, he was a very lucky man – both for the fact that young ears were about and that when I reported him to the police – as is the way with my local police force – they were not interested.

  Total Professional
Wednesday 2 May, 2018

Roundabouts are things with a purpose. Mini roundabouts are the same but without kerbs. However, some seem to think that they are there just to get in the way.

I was following a taxi approaching one such small ‘obstacle’ of the semi-raised kind. He decided to not go around it as normal but take the shortest route. This might be viewed as ignorance of the laws of the road, and had I been an unmarked police car then he would have left me little choice; the blue lights concealed in my front grill would start flashing as I sought to pull him over.


However, his selfish negotiation of the roundabout was nothing compared to the face on the driver approaching from the other side who was suddenly faced with a taxi heading directly at him at about 40mph (the limit on that particular stretch of road).

No harm done as the other car managed to avoid him through the use of that marvellous invention; brakes.